bleedandcry

ngayon ko lang napagtanto na marami talagang magkakapangalan sa mundo. at sa lahat ba naman ng mga pangalan, 'yun pang ayaw kong marinig ang napili ng kapitbahay namin na ipangalan sa anak niya. hayss. kakarating ko lang kasi noon ng bahay eh. ayos lang sana kung sinabi lang nang normal, kaya lang masaklap talaga eh, pinagsigawan pa. hayss. buhay nga naman.
kung ikaw ay matagal nang sumusubaybay sa blog na ito, marahil ay napagtanto mo na na ito ay ang ikalawang bahagi ng isa sa mga post ko. kung ikaw naman ay isang bagong tagasubaybay, malamang-lamang ay naisip mo na ang tungkol diyan nang mabasa mo ang pamagat ng post na ito. wala lang, naisip ko lang na napapanahon na naman para sa isang post sa aking sariling wika, kaya heto ako ngayon.
at bago ko simulan ang mahaba-habang kuwentuhan, nais ko munang ipaalam sa iyo na nagpalit na naman ako ng cellphone number. batay sa aking naaalala, nabanggit ko na noon na malapit na ngang masira ang sim ko, at 'yun, natuluyan na nga siya kaninang umaga. kung gusto mong malaman kung ano ang aking bagong number, 'wag kang mahiyang magtanong. pero walang kasiguraduhan na ibibigay ko ang number ko sa'yo, dahil depende pa 'yan kung gusto kitang kausap o hindi. biro lang! ngunit kadalasan ang mga biro'y may bahid ng katotohanan...

marami nang nagbago at patuloy na nagbabago. pero ayos lang 'yan, madali namang mag-adjust, tulad na lamang 'pag ikaw ay nasa loob ng isang silid na may aircon, o di kaya'y kapag ikaw ay nasa mainit na lugar. sa isang iglap lamang, maraming maaaring mangyari at magbago. sa isang segundo. sa isang minuto. o di kaya'y sa isang mensahe. 
marami na talagang nagbago. ang iba'y hindi ko pa matanggap, karamihan ay nakasanayan ko na.
hindi ko alam kung ituturing ko ang sarili kong masuwerte sa pagkakakita ko sa isa na namang lumang diary ko. sa totoo lang, hindi ito luma, dahil ang unang entry ay isinulat noong ikalabingsiyam ng nobyembre noong nakaraang taon. ngunit karamihan sa mga nakasulat doon ay tuluyan na ngang nakalipas. hindi ko ito maihalintulad sa iba kong mga diary, dahil noong binasa ko iyon, parang wala lang. parang hindi nga ako ang nagsulat ng lahat ng iyon. at dahil diyan, babalik na naman tayo sa simula: marami na ngang nagbago.
alam kong nababagot ka na, kung sino ka man, at marahil ay naiisip mo na walang saysay ang pagbabasang ginagawa mo. wala akong pakialam, isara mo na ang browser na ito at gumawa ka na ng ibang bagay. pero kung nais mo pa ring ipagpatuloy ang iyong pagbabasa, maraming salamat sa iyo.

kakaiba para sa isang batang katulad ko na gumamit ng ganito kalalim at kapormal na wikang Filipino, pero ito na talaga ang nakasanayan ko. naalala ko tuloy ang announcement mula sa aming samahan noong ako'y isang senior sa highschool. at dahil nabanggit na rin iyan, hayss, gusto ko sanang makapagsulat muli ng mga tula...
naaalala ko ang misteryosong gitara na hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin natutuklasan kung saan o kanino nanggaling at para kanino, kahit na minsan ko nang naisip na marahil iyon ay para sa akin...
at ngayon ay naghihintay akong muli para sa isa na namang sabado. malapit na akong magpaalam sa isa na namang bagay na matagal ko nang nakasama, tulad ng mga stuffed toys na minsan kong inilagay sa aking kama. hayss. at kabilang sa paghihintay ay isa na naman sa mga walang katapusan kong pangangarap. parang ganito kasi 'yun eh. magkakilala tayo. para tayong magkaibigan, madalas nagtatawanan. hindi mo lang alam kung ano ang aking nararamdaman kapag ako'y iyong nginingitian. at marahil pagkatapos ng ilang buwan, ang tanging maiiwan sa akin ay ang iyong pangalan. ikaw ay aalis, ako'y maiiwan, na wala man lang kahit isang ideya kung magkikita pa tayo sa pagitan ng ngayon at kailanman.  oo na, mushy na kung mushy. eh sa ganyan talaga eh. lagi kayong magkatabi na hindi naman talaga sinasadya. at sa huling labinlimang minuto'y nakahiga kayo sa tabi ng isa't isa at ang kanyang paghinga ang tanging magsasabi sa'yo na siya'y nasa tabi mo.. bongga! parang palabas na sa tv. kahit hindi ko alam kung ano nang mga palabas sa telebisyon ngayon, dahil ang tanging pinapanood ko lang ay ang balita at ang mga patalastas. hahaha!
marami pa akong gustong sabihin, pero oras na para waksan ang post na ito. kung nabitin ka, 'wag kang mag-alala, may ikatlong bahagi pa.

at kasabay ng pagkakatuklas sa lumang diary ay isa na namang tulang naibaon na sa limot. grabe, para talaga akong psychic. 'sakto na naman!
hanggang tingin na lamang ba ako? tunay nga bang hindi na magbabago? malapit na ngunit malayo pa rin. kailan ka kaya magiging akin? ... 
kahit sa malayo, ika'y abot-tanaw. pinapanood ko bawat kilos mo't galaw.
ngunit magdamag na lang titingin sa mga bituin sa kalangitan, dahil ikaw ay isang pangarap.

at pangarap lamang.

boy, i am really getting lazy about this. and there might be a few reasons for this. one, maybe because i'm busy with my studies (which is very unlikely, or so it seems to me O_o). two, perhaps i'm too busy with my social life. three, there's just so many things that are happening to the point that i haven't got any time to post anymore. and the best reason so far: i'm just being plain lazy. it shows in the layout. oh well.
so what is there to type about? i won't tell you about FOB in the Big Dome this september anymore, because i've already posted an entry about it. not my college life too, because i bet the readers of this blog (and that includes you) are already sick and tired because of it. and no, i won't tell you about what i've been going through in my yoga class and why i have something to look forward to every weekend. OMFG (sorry). that only means there's no purpose left for this blog to exist anymore. nah, i'm kidding. i just like to keep most of my things and worries and issues and excitement and happiness a little bit more private than ever. but there are still some things that i want to tell you. it may not be all, but "some" can still be counted. anyways..
the tracker. so there are lots of new entries. some of them i could still recognize, and my foreign readers are gone. beats me who is that mozilla reader. and also that safari one with a mac os x. oh well. it still feels good that a lot are still reading this blog.
friends. yeah, i had quite a few encounters this week. and i feel so lucky that i could actually find a friend anywhere i go, like they're all over the place. it's kinda funny how my classmates in each class recognize me as the girl with a purple bag and a file case that matches.ö i'm still uncertain why people i don't know ask me for directions inside the campus, and i just don't believe i have such a friendly face. my comm3 groupmates and i are getting closer together as each meeting goes by. and yeah, with all our conspiracies (which i hope are not rotten like mine alone), we, N-4, are really getting closer more than ever. but to top that all off is my hapon class. i'm lucky enough to be in that class, and i'm not regretting anything. there's this issue with a sempai, actually, (lingg majors, you will definitely figure this out) the rhotic voiced alveolar tap/flap thingy. oh. i forgot about last week's yoga class. ha. ha. ha. ooh, looks like i just can't stop talking about my college life. *sigh*
with everything i have now, where i am, how i've been, what i know, i feel lucky enough. but i bet i'd feel luckier, the luckiest, or if ever there's a word much more superlative than luckiest if i'm going to find ai qing. but like what i've seen at the rear part of a truck i saw on my way home this afternoon: i've got no time for love.ö i wanted to take a picture of it but unfortunately, i wasn't able to bring my digicam which i always bring. my blockmates are getting the impression that i can be compared to tomoyo from cardcaptor sakura. >_< the only thing missing, as what liz said, is for me to do cosplaying. which reminds me, i am actually starting to like animes. deathnote is officially my first. wah.
haven't found time to update my deviantart account. i would though, after doing my part in our report in comm3 and my assignment in math2 perhaps. but before that, i still have to go to the mall with my sistah.ü
to tell you honestly, purple is not my favorite color. it's green. if you still don't believe me (because of the color my things), well, nagkakataon lang 'yun. hehe.ü
i've typed long enough. i should go now. who knows, i might be saying goodbye to something again when i get back home.ö

so mitch, yeah, the rumors are settled. they're coming! OMG, i'm like so excited. @_@
just dropped by to share the good news!

still haven't recovered from last night's concert. bah, i'm sleepy. just thought i'd drop by for a short update.
let's just leave last night the way it is. i had fun with my friends last night, though it was kinda hard to mix friends from the block and friends from highschool. and i miss chicosci already. hahaha.

so much with card reading. i lost my deck. sheesh.
gotta love today's PE class. we had the chance to practice with different partners (we had four sets) and as you may have noticed, i'm really excited about meeting new people and expanding my network in the process. can't tell you more than that. :) i have to maintain my privacy. after all, i am a consistent person. ha. ha. ha.
to my new readers (i have the tracker back in this page. hehehe.), well, get used to this. i'm fond of talking in riddles.
i'm done with my assignments, and so i could sleep early. :)

at nawawalan na naman ng thrill ang mga bagay-bagay at pangyayari sa aking paligid. hayss. kunyari na lang wala akong alam. hayss talaga.

my language faculty isn't working properly as of the moment/i don't know what to say, so i might as well as end this post like this.

and that was quite an experience. but i'm really glad i got a perfect score on our first quiz in hapon10-11. and... wala lang. ^_~.v
i'm excited about the concert tomorrow! OMG, that only means that i'm going to see mong again. T-T
nah, i've got no stories to tell this time. and to end this post, let me share with you this entry from my private blog.

dreams are acting weird - as if they're saying something. but i still don't know, bah.
i can very much relate with someone's depressing situation, because the same thing happened to me. some five months ago.
names, titles.. hey, i'm not that desperate.

"i could be the one. i could make it up to you."

so i was wrong about being rich again this week. i totally ran out of money that easy. aw, c'mon, masyadong maraming kainan sa peyups kaya hindi ko mapigilang kumain maya't maya. i can't resist the temptation! waa.
and i'm still not running out of reasons to be happy.

i should tell you about many things - a blog post of five days worth - but since i'm not in the mood to blog anymore, i'd just keep the most of the things to myself. let's start about meeting ianne's block. ooh, yeah, i know i'm mean. hahaha. and.. wala lang. so i've been spending more of my break time with them. then we paid a visit to lrms yesterday (we = ianne + me). wala lang, natripan lang. then.. i had been closer to my seatmates in math 2 because of the confusing yet easy boardwork. sorry to say, hindi ko seatmate si "replica". ooh, have i already mentioned him in one of my posts? yeah, i think i did. oh well, nevermind. then there's this classmate (if i'm going to use the other word to describe that person, then it would just be too obvious) who i keep an eye on. aaand, he never fails to amuse me everytime i see him. then.. then.. wt, ianne, you know this already. yikee pa kasi.
too much information. memory overload. NOSEBLEED! >_< just like what happened to most of us in hapon yesterday, when the instructor was speaking in jap and the only word i caught was "eeto". and i even doubt it if that cluster of letters is considered as a word. gah.

tomorrow night is car show night! but before that, i need to finish a 2 to 3-minute speech for comm3, a reaction paper for kas 2, and problem set number four for math2. then i should "catch up" with a few people through the messaging lines. yep, and no, i ain't that busy. i just keep it cool.:D

how could i ever forget? i have my yoga tomorrow. perfect! so this ends here. more to come if some more things would happen, and if more things would come popping in my head.

p.s. let's wait for another time and after that, i'll tell you something about him. hah.

so frustrated with the comm3 book. it has actually wasted my precious fifteen minutes, not counting the first try, and obviously i have to go back to fc tomorrow (which is like a maze inside, omg, i got lost and i ended up in the wrong exit *sigh*). and though i have many reasons not to attend comm3, i still got one reason why i have to, and for me that's uber enough. kas2 isn't that bad, too, BUT, i say, there's something wrong with the prof. HAHAHA.

well actually, i'm just dropping by. and you know, it's hard to do something you don't really want to do. the feeling sucks. and sometimes, i just feel so helpless. but hasn't got anything to do with blogging. *sigh*

good thing i still have something to look forward to tomorrow, and for the next few days, well, until saturday. :)
off i go.

i'll never regret having enlisted myself in that yoga class. the venue for the class is still not regrettable, because it's not that hard to locate, but then it's so far. anyway, i think i'll enjoy a whole sem of PE for the first time in my life.
i had another tour in UP, but i had it in another side of the whole place. i wouldn't be able to do it without a map, of course, so thanks to fopc who provided the survival guide for freshies like me. :) our prof/instructor dismissed us an hour before the time so i had the chance to buy some handouts (math2 and hapon 10-11) and so last night i started to read them, and with that i also started with our math 2 assignment. although it's math, or should i say, it's math, so definitely it's enjoyable for me. haha. (there's a missing part in this account of my adventures yesterday and it delights me to know that you haven't got any idea what happened. ha. ha. ha. i am ever so happy. ^^)

enough about school, in a couple of hours i'll be out again to greenhills! what for, i'm not sure. my mom was insisting on going there and so i supported the idea. good thing my class tomorrow will start at 11:30am.
the car show is almost there and so as my day, and i hope i could get some friends to come. i'm super excited about many things.

i'm getting used to the commuting thingy as it gets easy as time passes by. ;)
i could feel five of a kind coming up!